Usually, Shit People Steal documents the petty thefts that occur at restaurants: silverware, salt shakers, money cats, but today's story concerns the midnight theft of a whole brisket from the Killen's BBQ pop-up, a crime so shocking and vile it should shake every Texan to his or her very core. Surely, in a state where one of the primary responsibilities of the Texas Rangers was brining cattle thieves to justice, stealing a brisket that someone else carefully prepared for hours deserves, well, perhaps not death, but certainly financial restitution and a very stern talking to.
As reported by chef/owner Ronnie Killen on his Facebook page yesterday morning, he discovered the missing brisket at 6:30 a.m. Sunday morning when he was unloading them from the pit in advance of service later that day. Killen tells Eater that he knew someone had tampered with the pit as soon as he arrived at 5:00 a.m., because "one of the three pieces of wood (in the pit) looked very fresh." He checked with his employees and verified that no one had been at the restaurant since midnight. He simply removed the extra log and continued with his preparations. However, it wasn't until he unloaded the briskets that he noticed there were only 19 instead of 20. Considering Killen sells his USDA Prime brisket for $14/lb and each one weights about eight pounds, the thief got away with over $100 of smoky, beefy goodness.
Thankfully, the chef has a sense of humor about the whole thing. "I just think it's funny," he says and adds that, although he can't promise it was cooked all the way, he hopes whoever took it enjoyed the meal. However, he will be adding a camera focused on the pit and a motion sensitive light to deter any future thefts. Brisket thieves of Pearland, consider yourselves warned!
The man at his pit [-EHOU-]